Looking a grown up bit absurd.

Testing Blue…Grey…Grey. Another miserable day.

Broken dirty nails continuously crawling away

but can’t keep the darkness at bay.

Conscious conversations over tea

just me and me.

Can’t shake it or wake it or myself.

Another day on the shelf.

Don’t remember letting you in.

Wasted time and crooked skin.

Can’t breathe or feel,

like watching a movie reel.

Played out and spinning,

through the looking glass I’m “winning”.

Looking for the magic words,

looking a grown up bit absurd.

Knowing it will past

wishing it were fast.

Not looking to drag this extra shadow around town.

I stand up it sits down.

If I were not so strong you may have a chance

but I’ll get clean, I’ll forget and dance.

Just need to shake this trance…

Losing moments and building bad memories

Patience..patience..yes and please.

Peeling off this heavy cape,

Working to turn and twist the fate.

Clean it all away,

Tomorrow, thank goodness, is another day.

Weight

Feeling forced. Trying so hard to portray endless light and happiness for you and me too. But I am cynical and apparently offensive. Strong of heart but sarcastic as all hell I find humor a comforting protective shell. I would be horrified to know if I hurt someone in my ignorant play and sometimes I worry I do it everyday. But I thought you knew and I thought I knew too. Many a victim befall my thoughtless wreckage of slight. Maybe I am not as funny or bright? No, but I know I am, all victims line up at the traffic jam. Always looking for someone to blame. Have you no shame. I have been wounded by daggers tounge, you really want to come and get some? I fought to ignore that I was pushed out the door unless ofcouse there was something for someone else to score. And like that a lifted weight. Wheu..that was heavy freight. But for this year I'm gonna write it, and move on to the next hit... cuz if it don't need you..you don't need it.