in love with two

I have the perfect marriage. By no one's standard but my own. But there is a catch. I am madly in love with two men. My husband and my father. Together they are the perfect partner for me. Naturally I can not imagine a life without the father of my children but truthfully, based purely on logistics, I can not have them both forever.
I must ask my dad to train me in all the ways of peace, in the moment, in myself. If ever I should lose him I fear that I will lose all that is magic too. I may stop believing in fairies and elves. I may forget the big picture of the universe and our small scientific place in it. I may not stop time to imagine I was a bird riding the wind. What if I should forget I was a child, a daughter, someone who was loved as much as I love my babies. I think I shall forget what true perseverance is. Walls may become taller and puddles may become wider and deeper. Life may seem so lifeless.
And yet because of his belief, not mine, I will be sure to see him in the wind, and in the marvel of a hummingbirds wings. I will know he has not stopped working his magic but he has finally become it. I will believe that his feathers are spread across the sky and that for eternity he is riding the wind.
So this is a reminder to love who you have before you forget what they mean to you. I only hope I can inspire my children in such an extraordinary way. I slowly store a little strength away everyday to draw on when that fateful day comes. I should need an endless well of it. And I suppose that is why I was given him. My husband the rock. He may not believe in fairies, although he plays along, but he is the strongest well of giving I have ever seen.
Now don't even get me started on my mother.... love now, don't be foolish. And don't feel like it's too late. If you missed your chance with someone do not swim in regret and lose but use that gift to love who's left there holding your heart, helpless and hopeful to see you smile again.