Helpless to stop the pathetic hope looming deep inside my chest. Tomorrow is truly just another day but if they say out loud that it is new then we have something to look forward to. As if hope is failure I am ashamed that it lies there in my heart. Much easier to know what is and accept that maybe this is as good as it gets...and be okay with that. Alas the human condition. I doubt there is a squirrel in a tree somewhere wondering how they may change the course of their life because tomorrow is a new year filled with promise.
I don't dislike optimism, I just don't like to be told when I should be optimistic. I would much rather have low expectations and be surprised than to begin to grow my dreams in larger bubbles sure to burst. Regardless it is a new year. So have at it. It is a good excuse to forgive yourself and wipe the slate clean so to speak. Last year was as furious as it was fast. May I remind you that we are lucky here tonight, for there are so many who do not have hope or an understanding of what that might feel like.
I do fear silent requests to the universe. I fear selfishness. I worry that for every wish granted something here in my heart will be taken in return and although I may only have a small collection of treasures, I am not willing to trade up on any of them. So I will say farewell 2013. I do not look back in regret or anger. I take full responsibility for all my heartaches and blessings. Thank you for teaching me some of the same lessons I try to learn every year. Thank you for the time, because a wise man once quoted to me that "Time is a thief, and I left the door wide open". Don't wish away your time. Revel in it. Even the hardened soulless moments are an opportunity to live, feel, breathe and well, have hope if nothing else.
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