At first I believed I was there. Was an active part of it.
But broken down after breaking down too many times.
I see now, clearly
I am invisible
Mocking nods and chastised whispers
An unscripted lesson on repeat, forever
Washing my brain till it weathered and withered
Few moments of silence are offered
For those times would promote reflection
and offer dangerous opportunities for personal thought
who am I?
In the big picture it is not like it matters
But even in my picture
I am small and getting smaller fast
Pain and palpitations and parenthood
I've been busy which made me light
and although I have proven that I exist to others
I have not done so for myself
It is sad to disappear in your world
and scary to dissipate in your mirror
but safe to despair and deliberate
To move with intent now
seems selfish
I don't need you to know me
I was always there for you
But I was never here for you
I thought if you saw me I might exist
Alas, I am invisible
Even to myself
I know that now
Because somewhere along the way
I forgot to find all my pieces and put them together
No more.
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