Inactivity, Darkness

Solid darkness, been here for days, maybe months.
My mind plays with me.
Wanting to be in active pursuit but waiting for the light.
It's darker today. A little darker everyday.
I am inactive.

I have unmeasurable offerings.
I see, even in the dark.
I give. Then I doubt my intention.
It feels good but it's not enough.
I find myself waiting in the dark for reciprocation.

Is it a curse? What have I done?
How many times must I attempt to learn the lesson.
I swear I am worth it.
Others are. I can tell. But so am I.
Can you tell?

When did the light go out?
was it ever on? Can you tell me...am I getting warmer.
Last year I decided to walk straight in the dark forever.
Somehow I am still in the same spot.
My mind plays with me.
Inactivity, Darkness.