We're not in Canada anymore...

A family heads across the border in search of grocery deals and visual adventure, they are unaware of what they are about to encounter…

Being bona fide veterans at the border cross and having found gas as low as 93 cents a Litre…it is time to get down to brass tacks. First stop U.S. Wal-Mart. Rolling into the parking lot we assume our navigation will be seamless. However it is immediately evident that this is no mere doppelganger of that place everyone goes to and no one admits frequenting.

Sporty, we’re not in Canada anymore.

As we routinely pluck the children from their car seats we are jarred by the burly screams of obscenities the likes of which I have only witnessed in the movies. It seems as though one large boisterous gentlemen is not too keen on waiting for an equally large rather intimidating looking gentlemen to back away from the parking spot. The two share an animated one fingered wave, their monstrous arms swinging cartoon-like from their vehicles. At first I feel like I am watching Wall-e trumped quickly by the encroaching theme of twilight zone. As we enter the building, a term I choose carefully as this is clearly not a store, I resist the urge to grab the kids and run. We are reassured that the store is under renovations but it still feels like we may be punked at any moment.

As we quickly find some deals we think may be worth risking our lives for we patiently wait in line to pay. The boy behind me continually shoots a fake gun an inch from my head for what fells like an hour. Isn’t this a scene out of 28 days or Natural Born Killers or something. Am I making this up? Everything seems a bit off here. The people are different. It’s ummm like the Matrix and I am the only one who knows that this reality isn’t real. We leave with a more tarnished view of our neighbors and some damn good deals. But I can’t say I will return to the make shift Walmart …if it was ever really there. Du na du na du na du na…Fade to black.